I grew up riding two-stroke motorbikes. From little baby motocross bikes, to 125cc road race bikes. And I loved them. But back then, they were all I knew. I didn?t know you could add another engine revolution to the old ?suck, squeeze, bang, blow? sequence. In actual fact, where I grew up, a ?suck, squeeze, bang and blow? meant something entirely different, and would cost you fifty quid; but that?s another story. Although I?ve spent the majority of my adult life riding four-stroke motorbikes (like most people these days) I?ve still got a real soft spot for two-stroke motorbikes. This is why?

Four-stroke tractors

The first ever proper four-stroke motorbike I ever encountered was my uncles 600cc Husaberg MX bike. It was ridiculous. I was probably about 10 years old and he told me I could take it for a spin, if I could start it. Well, no matter how much I jumped up and down on the kick start, I couldn?t get the thing to move an inch. Bastard. It was probably for the best though, because it was a proper monster of a thing. It was bloody massive, and the noise it made genuinely scared me.
These days, I know modern four-stroke MX bikes are a lot more refined than that. And four-stroke road bikes are head-and-shoulders better than their two-stroke counterparts, in almost every way. But I can?t help feeling as though they?re all a bit tractory. The way they plod along with all that lovely, but slightly soulless, torque.

Scratch and sniff

I?ve always liked sniffin...