It?s great knocking around with like-minded people, isn?t it" But don?t forget, there are weirdos in all walks of life and the motorcycle world is no exception. To help keep you safe from the bonkers and the boring, we?ve compiled a list of the top five people to avoid at your local bike café . Good luck.

The ?Marc Marquez?

Ten years ago, this bloke would have been dressed up as Valentino, but now there?s a new king in town. He?s ditched his Gauloises Yamaha Dainese one-piece and matching R1, and traded the job lot in for a Repsol Fireblade with all the trimmings. There?s one at every biker café, BSB round and dogging spot from Land?s End to John o? Groats. And although The ?Marc? might seem harmless enough at first, after a couple of minutes of conversation with him it?ll become abundantly clear as to why he is so desperate to be somebody else; anyone but himself.
You see, he?s spent so much of his life worrying about what he looks like that he has completely forgotten to actually have a life. Consequently he has absolutely nothing interesting or entertaining to add to any conversation about anything at all. But that won’t stop him trying. He?ll squeak around in his Alpinestars and bore you to tears with tedious anecdotes that are probably made up anyway. The best way to avoid getting stuck in a mind numbingly boring conversation with one of these MotoGP fanboys is to avoid them like the plague, at all costs.

The Gobby Biker Slag

You?ll h...