Every morning when I tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen, my worn out body reminds me that I?m not getting any younger. And whilst I don?t consider myself to be an old man just yet, I feel as though I?m hurtling relentlessly towards it. And I don?t like it. But although I can?t do a great deal about the receding hairline, the diminishing eyesight and the elongated scrotum, it is possible to hang on to some semblance of youthfulness, if you really want to. And I do really want to. And I think you do, too. So set fire to your pipe and slippers and tell Shackleton?s to ram their high-seat chair up their hoop. Don?t grow old gracefully; ride bikes instead…

Because you?re never too old to ride bikes, despite what your family might think. If you can still see straight, and you?ve got the use of at least a couple of your limbs, you?ve got everything you need. In fact you?d be doing better than some car drivers out there; there are plenty of them that obviously can?t see straight.
There’s a little feller that lives opposite me who?s in his 70s and doesn?t appear to have much of a life. Occasionally you?ll see him tending to his flower beds or cutting the grass, but that?s about it. Usually, he’s polite to the adults in the street but all the kids think he is weird. He?s not weird; he?s just a miserable old turd. He?ll shout at the kids for playing football on the green, or riding their bikes too fast up and down the street. Because he?s got noth...