Lots of us like the idea of having a bike with all the bling bolted to it. Akrapovi? this, Dymag that, and Öhlins the other. And I think we?re right to. The right aftermarket kit can make even the blandest standard motorbike, that little bit more special. It might make it faster, lighter, handle better or just look sexier. But sometimes, even the trickest aftermarket bolt-ons, aren?t worth their weight in dog-dirt, and this is why?

Just last week, I was visiting a friend who runs a motorcycle workshop. Whilst I was there, a bloke arrived with a Honda CBR600RR (circa late 00s) in the back of his van. He duly wheeled it out, handed my friend (the mechanic) a box with an Arrows exhaust in it (full system, brand new) and said he?d be back to collect it next weekend, once it?d been fitted and fuelled accordingly after some time on the dyno.
I don?t know which exact model the exhaust was, but I?m guessing it?d have cost him the thick end of £1,200. And then another couple of hundred to have it fitted and fuelled. Quite a lot of money to spend on a bike that?s probably not worth much more than about £3,000. Or it might be if it didn?t look like he?d just dragged it out of a swamp, aftermarket parts or not.

I don?t know how long this chap has owned the bike, but it didn?t look like he?d ever washed it. Or lubed the chain. Or done anything to it. It was a total mess. An embarrassment. At least the Monster Energy stickers covered the scrapes on the fairing, almost...